Just So You Know

Ayaw ko ng may kahati.

You can't have the best of both worlds. I'm giving you space so you can think clearly. If it's me, then it's me. If it's not me, then it's not me. Simple. It's your call.

Chocnut? Hun? Imy? Hug? Kiss? What the heck?! If you're just giving me the wrong signals, JUST QUIT IT. How insensitive can you get? Don't toy with my emotions. You're hurting me so much. Paasa ka. :(

Kung kelan bumibigay na ako sa yo, saka ka pa naging ganyan. Hay.

Xoxo,
Karen

Random Thoughts

What I don't know won't hurt affect me.

Ugh. It's like a drug. It's in my system. It's eating me up. I'm addicted.

Why can't I have what who I want?

That's what I hate from being a girl. I always have to wait for a guy to take the initiative. Err.

When will I see/hear from you again?

That night was almost perfect.

It seemed as if we've known each other for years.

That easiness.

That comfort.

I wonder, do you ever think of me?

'Cause I do.

I do think of you.

Almost always.

Haay.

My phone beeps.

I'm hoping it's you.

NOT.

*Disappointment fills the air*

I'm waiting.

Still waiting.

Tick tock.

Xoxo,
Karen

Fleeting

I thought what we had was special. I thought we were going to last longer.

Xoxo,
Karen

On Forgiveness

Forgive or forget. That's what they say. It's good advice but it's not very practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us we want to be right. Without forgiveness, old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget. - Meridith Grey

Don't you just love Meridith Grey? She always leaves us with something to think about.

***

I want to forgive and forget. I want to forgive you. And I want to forget you.

This has been my way of thinking everytime I get hurt. I'm aware of the fact that having grudges and bitterness won't do me any good and so I figured that since it's almost Christmas, it's time to do some reflecting. [But of course, it's not only during the Christmas season that reflecting should be done. It must be done as necessary or as often as possible. :)]

To forgive and to forget are two different things. To forgive is to loosen your grip to the negative vibes that caused you to be hurt or offended by anyone and lead you to more positive aspects of your life, while to forget is to remove that memory in your mind. It's hard to forgive but it's almost always necessary. Sure the things that have caused us to be hurt or offended may be part of our lives already, but forgiveness lessens the weight that we have to carry, and it is capable of making us feel at peace. If someone hurts us, we shouldn't hurt them back, instead we should hold them more closely in our hearts and forgive them sincerely even before they're sorry for what they did. We won't be able to move on and fully attain happiness if we don't know how to practice forgiveness. I guess forgiveness is one of the keys to achieve eternal bliss.

We can hold on to anger, bitterness, resentment, vengeance OR embrace forgiveness and move forward. You decide. Think about it. ;)

Happy holidays!

Xoxo,

Karen

So many things to do, so little time

I've got TONS of things to do. I really need enough strength and motivation to be able to accomplish all of them. I'll be taking the NMAT on the 14th of December. Pray for me, everyone! I haven't reviewed yet. I know, right? I'm supposed to apply whatever I've learned in the previous years. Yeye. But what can I do? I don't have that stock knowledge. I guess, STUCK knowledge suits me better. Ohwell. Chemistry, Physics, Biology? Their my weaknesses! How ironic, right? I'm applying for Medicine, and Science is my weakness. 11 days to go. I need a miracle to be able to get a high grade or a passing score at that. *Sigh* Good Lord, help me.

Moving on, my mom is on a long vacation, and she gave me the responsibility to take over our business. It's keeping me really busy recently. I talked to my mom on the phone and she gave me A LOT of instructions regarding the new water system/pipe construction in our neighborhood. She told me to do this, to do that, etc. It was really draining! It hasn't started yet, I mean, the new water system/pipe construction, but I know that it'll really test my patience. I hope that it turns out just fine. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I don't want to let my mom down. Brr.

I'm officially 6 months and 1 day BUM. Still unemployed. *Sigh* It's not that I have to fret so bad about it because I haven't applied to any of the hospitals yet 'cause most of them are still on a FREEZE hiring mode. However, there are a few hospitals which are currently open for hiring, but they're just far away. It's not like I'm not after the experience. Of course, I'm dying to apply my Nursing skills in a hospital setting once again. But my mom doesn't approve of the idea of renting a house or an apartment where I can stay while I'm on training/at work. Haay. I REALLY really ReALLy want to work already.

What else? Okay, so it's 4 months and so so days since the release of the PNLE June 2008. I already received my eligibility to take the NCLEX a month ago, but I haven't taken the next step yet 'cause I have to find the perfect review center for me since studying on my own won't, in my opinion, be effective.

Argh. These are just a few of the many things I have to do within 3-4 months. I'm hoping, wishing & praying that everything will just go on smoothly.

Xoxo,

Karen

Cut me some slack

I couldn't stop my tears from falling. So many things to do, so little time. Err. Physically & emotionally draininggg.

One.Step.At.A.Time.

Xoxo,

Karen

Edward Cullen

I'm unconditionally & irrevocably inlove with him.

This is actually my fave scene - Edward, with his shades on, getting out of the car, opening the door for Bella, walking with her while everyone else was staring, and then putting his arm around Bella's neck. *Kilig!*

I also loved the baseball scene and the part when Edward said to Bella: You're my personal brand of heroine. *Kilig!*

I must say that the book is way better than the movie, though it didn't suck that much. Nevertheless, it was worth watching for. :)

Xoxo,

Karen

Just A Thought

I remember my sister warning me that I shouldn't fall for his words (or actions at that) and that I should always keep in mind what he did to me a few years back. What he did to me was foul and if he did it to me once, he can always do it to me again for sure.

I know that this is kind of difficult to handle. Especially now that I'm starting to get attached to him again. But I guess it's just a matter of knowing my limits and having self-control. I have to control myself from falling inlove with him all over again. *sigh*

I don't want to have my heart be broken over the same person twice. Or thrice for this matter.

Xoxo,

Karen

IMYH <3

You keep me sane. :)

Please don't let me down this time. You have my trust. Don't blow it.

Xoxo,
Karen

Webcam

Me loving the webcam to pieces. :)

I am missing my mum & sister so much. Ate Trina & I were in tears upon seeing my Mum and Ate Kathy on screen. We just missed them terribly! We aren't used to being far away from each other, that's why. My Mum also cried for seeing the two of us crying. Haha. Cause & effect, huh? Haha. Ate Kathy was constantly showing off the things they bought for us just to stop our tears from falling down. She was succesful for our tears were turned to laughter & smiles. Haha. I am so thrilled for the goodies!!! But I'm so much more thrilled to see and be with my mum again soon. I love you & I miss you, Ma.

Xoxo,
Karen