HAPPY 18th BDAY TO PAULA RUTH SIONGCO!! ;-)

I'm sick. :-(

CORYZA attack..

+ karen +

WHERE IS THE MOMENT WHEN WE NEED IT THE MOST? YOU KICK UP THE LEAVES AND THE MAGIC IS LOST.

Hi.. Hope you're reading this. This one's for you..

The Scientist - Coldplay

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you i set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart

Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy, Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Ohhhhhh ouuuuu
Ahhhhhh ouuuuu
Ohhhhhh ouuuuu
Ohhhhhh ouuuuu

Here's one more. Ria handed me a copy of Libre [yes, that free newspaper in LRT stations.] last Wednesday, 21st of June 2006, and asked me to read the Romance section. Surprisingly, I never felt so alone. Di lang pala ako yung may sitwasyong ganon.. Title pa lang.. patama na! So I copied some parts [well, most parts. :-)] which definitely mirror what I'm going through at present. This is a letter sent by a girl named Crisitine to Joe D' Mango. So here it goes..

" Ex Boyfriend Confuses Girl "

[Crisitne's message to Joe D' Mango]

- It could have been a great relationship, but i knew i could never go on competing with his pride.

- At that time, I thought breaking up with him was the best way for him to realize that I can also get tired.

- Plus the fact that he was already fallen out of love for me was more than I could take.

- I thought about teaching him a lesson about lessening his pride. I broke up with him. But I never thought it was going to be hard and so painful.

- I tried hard to get over him. I thought I could, but truth is, I cry almost every night because I couldn't believe it myself that I was pretending to be strong about our breakup, when in fact, I was dying inside.

- I kept thinking about how his love for me could completely disappear.

- I thought it was because of the length of time we were apart, making him forget about what we had. All this time, I just wanted him to learn his lesson, but it all ended up with me learning a lesson I didn't ask for.

- I couldn't deny the fact that my heart was shattered into pieces.

- Everyday was just really hard to bear. I realized too that I had to accept him as a friend again and just try to be with him normally, as if nothing happened. But he kept on doing sweet little things that kept me from moving on and stop hoping.

- Finally, I realized that I would go nowhere if I continued being with him and getting hurt. But I really felt that he still had feelings for me, I guess he was just too afraid to be rejected for he is a man of pride.

- I really don't understand him at all.

- All i know is that, I still love him and I am willing to give him a second chance.

- I really have no idea what to think about the two of us.

- Please help my confused heart.

[Joe D' Mangos' reply to Crisitne]

- What I see is a picture of a girl who knows what she wants and a man who can't make up his mind on what he really wants.

- What is the use of another chance to a man who doesn't really ask for it?

- If he doesn't make any conscious effort to fight for what he feels for you then you should think twice about spending the rest of your life wanting him.

- He probably remembers you only when he is lonely and alone. He enjoys being sweet to you when you're together without the benefit of any commitment.

- The pride issue will get him nowhere. You have to make him realize that if he truly wants to be with you then he should be willing to accept the consequence loving someone brings. He has to make you feel it in a manner consistent to his words and promises.

- Sometimes it is hard to understand men and how they take leaps and bounds to protect their self esteem even at the expense of people they love.

- If he cannot prove that he can commit to you then you just have to move on because he would be better off keeping his own interests than keeping his heart in a relationship that he cannot live up to.

OMG. Sounds like my story. :-( I thank Crisitne for sending her letter to Joe D' Mango. [haha!] And I would also like to thank Joe D' Mango [another haha!] for his wonderful reaction and pieces of advice to that poor girl. It served as an eye-opener on my part. I've done my part, I'll let him do his. I just hope he'll do something pleasant about it, otherwise, I'll end up wounded.. again. At night, whenever I'm about to go to sleep, I always think that what happened to us was just a nightmare, and that tomorrow, this would all return to what we used to be, but when I wake up the following morning, I end up teary-eyed and helpless, because it's reality that I've been facing, not just a nightmare nor a silly imagination, and there's nothing I could do about it anymore. Things have been said and done. Yet I'm [still] hoping that it's not yet late for remedies. [Oh well, I'm still in denial :-(]

Oh God, please heal my wounded heart. :-(

+ karen +

P.S.

I'd like to thank my friends [Mega and Lari: my love doctors; Raze-my bez; Iris-ever close friend; Ria-my bestfriend and support person in school; Cla-my favgf who would very much willing to console me whenever I cry at school; and everyone else.. you know who you are. :-)]who pretty much know the whole story, for being there for me at my lowest, for consoling my wounded heart, for really exerting an effort to make me forget what had happened, and for continuing to support me even if I'm so stubborn [you guys would constantly say that I should quit hoping, and yet I say I will but my actions speak otherwise :-)]. Thanks to all of you. In times like this, I really need you guys.. I love you all. MWAH!

My Sentiments...

They say that it really hurts letting go of someone you love even if you really don't want to and having no right to say that you are hurting because it was your decision.

I concede this must be true after all.

I would be a hypocrite to say that I'm not hurting, because I am.. I truly am. I haven't heard from him, like for the entire day, and I really find it strange. But then, I guess I'd just have to face reality that some things aren't really meant to be.

Again, it was my decision, I have no right to say that I am hurting.

Anyway, there are some people I'd like to thank for being there at my lowest. They are Gracey, Lari, Mega and Patch.

Gracey: She's my puyatera friend. I can say that I'm pretty much open to her when it comes to heart problems. She listens to me talaga, kahit nonsense na sometimes. Haha! I'd like to thank her for listening to my crappy love story and for giving such wonderful pieces of advice.

Lari: She's my ka-jerk. Although she's a close friend, she does not take sides. I mean, whenever I open up my problems wit her, she says what my faults are and what's the best thing to do. As they say, true friends stab you in front. I really like her pieces of advice because they sure made a big impact on my decision-making. [Nax! Haha! But I'm serious.. She said a lot of things that really made me think 'til I go to sleep.. Ganon kalala. Ganon ka-intense. Haha!] She's my Dr. Love. She's my partner in giving Benedict [Patchoi's friend] some tips on how to deal wit his sort of love life. [Lari, bakit ganon? Ibang tao natutulungan ko, pero sarili ko, hindi ko matulungan? *Sob*] She can really make me laugh wit her funny hirits especially when it comes to spying [spying? My forte! I mean, Our forte! Haha!]. She told me that they [the two girls] aren't really goodlooking, and that they are just so ordinary. Haha! She is so funny! I'm glad we're friends. Much more glad that we're ka-jerk! I just love this girl, because wit her, I can truly be myself.

Mega: She's also my ka-jerk. She's one of the people who would, more often than not, react to the quotes I've been sending. Like she would ask me, "Ganon ba talaga yun? What if...blah blah blah." It's really funny! She learns something from me [Haha! Assuming ba? But she said so!] yet I learn a whole lot from her. [Right, Meggy? Our late night conversation? The super haba text messages that we sent to each other. Haha!] She asks me questions, ako naman answer to the max! As in we'd usually come to the point wherein damang dama na namin yung situation. Haha! I also love this girl, because she supports me all the way. And I'm really thankful for that.

Patchoi: She's my bestfriend. She's always willing to listen to my crappy stories. She supports me all the way too. Haha! She's a spy too! That's one thing I love about her. I can tell her anything under the sun. From cute and hot boys to freakin' bitches and sluts. That's my bestfriend, supporter all the way! I love her so!

+ karen +

I'm done watching OTH-Season Three. I'd have to say it's a little bit tragic. Watch it for yourself. Season 4 is a thrill. Mima said that they usually air the next season on the start of fall. That would be TWO MONTHS from now. Argh. Can't hardly wait. I love Nathan, yet I love Lucas more. Haha! [Two of my present fantasies.]

+ karen +

This entry is exclusively for Migs.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE BIG HELP! I really love this song! I owe you one.. kaya lang pagdating na ni Iris from the States, ah? Haha!

+ karen +

At long last, I have One Tree Hill (Season 3) and Desperate Housewives (Season 2)!! On the contrary, they ran out of Grey's Anatomy (Season 2). Tsk. Magka-stock na kayo.. Oh Please!! I really want to have that Season two.. Nakakabitin yung Season one. Superrr. Well anyway, still have ample time to watch them all. Like hello, classes would start on the 14th pa! I'm sooo excited!! I'm loving Lucas more and more. Haha! I'm almost done wit Desperate Housewives.. I just love Gabrielle! She's just so amazing! =) I'm into Korean films as well. Haha! I'm thinking of buying "Now Dating" or "Dating Now." [I can't really remember if it's Now Dating or the other way around. Haha!] Nothing really. I just find it kilig and funny.

What an entry!! Haha!! Just wanna share what made me uber happy today. =)

'til then. Cheerio!

** I want to watch The Lake House. Seems awesome! **

+ karen +

HEY GIRL! I HOPE YOU'RE READING THIS. YOU JUST WON'T STOP TALAGA NOH?? TRY AND TRY UNTIL YOU DIE!

+ karen +